A Stupid Mistake And A Much Needed Break

I made this resolution final night time. By Monday afternoon, I had most elements of my closet chandelier completed and able to go. Over the weekend, I reduce the entire “stems” to the proper lengths. I additionally needed to reduce the underside steel piece on the precise chandelier shorter in order that the 2 items would match collectively correctly. After which I acquired the precise chandelier, the stems attachment, and the entire smaller items (chain, ceiling rings, and many others.) primed and painted. So these have been able to go.

I had the entire items in place to make this gentle set up fast and simple.

I had additionally pre-fit the 2 items collectively, testing out precisely how and the place the arms of the chandelier wanted to go contained in the stems attachment in order that the stems and flowers wouldn’t intervene with the lights on the chandelier. I acquired these marked in order that placing it collectively as soon as the chandelier was hung could be fairly easy.

After my time with my associates, I used to be again residence and sanding the flowers, prepping them for primer and paint, and that’s when it hit me. I had a sneaking suspicion that I hadn’t made sufficient flowers.

I had three rows of 16 stems on my chandelier, and I had made 38 flowers plus one further in case one broke. Sure, that’s proper. My silly math-challenged mind sabotaged me as soon as once more. I attempted to do math in my head, and I forgot to hold the one. I didn’t want 38 flowers. I wanted FORTY-EIGHT flowers. I used to be ten flowers brief.

Actually, I might have cried, however I didn’t even have sufficient power for that. These final two-and-a-half weeks have completely drained me. I really feel like I can’t get something performed. I can’t focus on something. I’ve no focus. And I’m being pulled in each route. Let me clarify.

I’ve already advised y’all that on July 4th, I needed to take Cooper to the emergency vet clinic as a result of he was regurgitating his meals. I arrived at 5:00pm and didn’t depart the clinic till 11:00pm. He left there in such a tragic state after being anesthetized in order that they might get scans, which confirmed that he has a tumor in his chest that has prompted megaesophagus. The megaesophagus is what’s inflicting him to regurgitate his meals. In order that led to me spending hours on-line making an attempt to determine find out how to feed and look after a canine with megaesophagus.

By that subsequent Monday, July seventh, he was doing a lot better. I used to be nonetheless making an attempt to determine the meals/feeding challenge, and he was nonetheless regurgitating some (however not all) of his meals. However he was experiencing regurgitation principally throughout the night time, so I used to be getting very poor sleep. I solely get 5.5 to six hours of sleep every night time as it’s, so having that sleep interrupted with fear and caring for a canine and ensuring that he doesn’t aspirate on no matter it’s that he’s regurgitating was inflicting me to be exhausted and drained throughout the day, resulting in some very unproductive days.

However we have been making it. And because the week progressed, he gave the impression to be doing a lot better. Till Thursday. That’s after I was making an attempt to get my closet island completed, and he was hanging out within the bed room with me as I used to be making an attempt to get the island drawers and doorways put in after I had resanded and repainted them. That morning, he had been his regular self — energetic, playful, and following me round like my shadow. However because the day went on, he appeared to turn into extra torpid. And as I used to be within the bed room working with the drawers, he turned his again to me and that’s after I observed that he had an enormous knot on the again of his again proper leg. It hadn’t been there that morning, so this was one thing that developed over the course of a day.

And after I say “knot”, I imply that the factor was the dimensions of a big candy potato. It was so huge that it was displacing his tail, pushing it manner over to the aspect. It was already after regular workplace hours, and I simply didn’t have it in me to return to the emergency clinic and be there for hours on finish, so I made a decision that I’d take him the following day. I acquired up the following morning, took footage of my completed island in order that I may write my weblog submit, and the entire time, Cooper was following me like he often does. However by that point, the factor on the again of his leg had began bleeding. So he was leaving a path of blood drops all over the place he went. When you look again on the footage of that submit concerning the completed island, you’ll be able to see his blood drops everywhere in the ground.

So at 7:30am, as quickly because the vet workplace opened, I known as and made an emergency appointment and so they acquired me in that afternoon. Thank goodness the common vet permits for emergency visits as a result of their regular schedule didn’t have a gap for 3 weeks. So early afternoon, I loaded him again up and we went to the vet. She assured me that this didn’t have something to do with the factor in his chest, and after shaving the world and taking an in depth have a look at it, she mentioned he had three giant puncture wounds behind his leg.

Puncture wounds? What the heck would have prompted puncture wounds? Nonetheless, to at the present time, I do not know what may have prompted puncture wounds, and definitely not THREE giant puncture wounds. I’ve searched his yard, the home, all over the place he goes. I can’t discover something. Anyway, they acquired it cleaned up as finest they might and prescribed him antibiotics and a topical wash that I’m supposed to make use of each day. So I introduced him again residence, and he continued to drop blood trails everywhere in the home for the following two days.

By Monday, he was feeling a lot better once more, virtually again to his regular self. I used to be nonetheless making an attempt to determine the megaesophagus meals and feeding schedule, however at that time, I used to be additionally afraid to let him out into his yard throughout the day unsupervised. So at that time, I having to go from feeding him one huge meal a day (unsupervised, with no time constraints on me), to feeding him 4 occasions a day, which must be supervised as a result of he must be upright for 20 minutes after every meal (which may be very difficult for an brisk canine), however I used to be additionally now having to take him out, supervised and on a leash) about 5 occasions a day.

And all of this on prime of the truth that Matt can’t feed himself. He hasn’t been in a position to feed himself ever since he was launched from his final hospital keep in February 2024. Plus, there’s the entire different issues I’ve to do for Matt all through the day.

I actually don’t imply this to sound like I’m complaining. I’m not complaining. I’m simply explaining. I’m exhausted. I really feel like my days are spent caring for Matt, which has by no means actually been an issue as a result of Matt and I’ve a system. A schedule. We’ve form of labored collectively like a well-oiled machine. That was doable for me. However now a wrench has been thrown into the gears of that machine as a result of I now should spend all of this time caring for Cooper and determining this new schedule with the a number of supervised feedings all through the day, and supervised outdoors time a number of occasions a day, and sleepless nights with me being woke up by each little sound that Cooper makes as a result of I’m frightened that he’ll regurgitate and aspirate and get pneumonia (the main reason for dying of canine with megaesophagus). And that’s leaving little to no time left for me to get issues performed that have to be performed. And even after I attempt, I’m making an attempt to push by feeling exhausted and with a thoughts that’s so drained that I can’t even do a simple arithmetic downside. I really feel like I’ve barely been in a position to maintain my head above water for the final two-and-a-half weeks.

So I want a break. I want time to determine this out, and to determine a schedule that we are able to all reside with. And I want sleep and relaxation. So I’m going to take just a few days away from the weblog and deal with these issues for some time. My plan is to take a week-and-a-half and be again on August 4th. That can no less than take a few of the stress off of me to get initiatives performed each day whereas I determine this out. I do plan to maintain working as time permits, and I’m actually hoping that I can got here again on August 4th with a totally completed chandelier, a framed doorway, and a totally completed closet. However proper now, all I can take into consideration is that I want a nap.