I’ve been attempting to do just a few issues otherwise in 2025.
Particularly, transferring in direction of moments or issues that make me uncomfortable.
(I don’t imply “instances when I’m in bodily hazard,” in fact.)
However slightly, I’m going to run towards the issues that my mind tells me, “That is uncomfortable, I don’t like this, keep away from it in any respect prices.”
The e-mail I’m afraid to open. The dialog I’m afraid to have. The query I’m afraid to ask. The flexibility to be alone with my ideas (yikes).
Once I attain for my telephone or Netflix or Ps controller to keep away from being bored or uncomfortable or unhappy or responsible…
I’m attempting to construct some self-discipline to pause first.
To not keep away from, distract, or entertain myself away from what’s actually occurring.
To not zone out or run away, Monty-Python fashion.
If I’ve the braveness to sit down there and actually ask the query, “Why is that this making me really feel uncomfortable?” there’s invaluable classes to be realized.
Lean into The Discomfort
Creator Pema Chodron lays out the next in her guide When Things Fall Apart:
“We regard discomfort in any kind as unhealthy information.
…emotions like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and concern.
As an alternative of being unhealthy information, these are literally very clear moments that train us the place it’s that we’re holding again.”
This stuff might be unimaginable academics if we give ourselves the area to be taught.
However that’s fairly the ask in 2025:
Because of the web and our telephones and same-day supply, we are able to spend each minute of day by day hiding from practically each single uncomfortable feeling in our lives. We by no means must be bored, we by no means must really feel “unhealthy,” we by no means have to deal with the elephant within the room.
We will simply swipe, click on, faucet, or disassociate to keep away from any and all “unhealthy” emotions.
We will conceal from them with infinite leisure and luxury (even when it retains us from getting what we actually need).
After all, these unhealthy emotions don’t go away—they’re nonetheless there, and the issues we’re avoiding will finally must be handled.
When I attempt to conceal from discomfort, I do know I’m not really avoiding it. I’m not protecting it boxed up.
I’m trapped in Pandora’s Box with the monsters.
Blaise Pascal, a Seventeenth-century thinker, stated it greatest:
“All of humanity’s issues stem from man’s lack of ability to sit down quietly in a room alone.”
These Emotions are Attempting to Educate Us!
Many emotions of discomfort are screaming to show us one thing if we are able to reframe how we really feel about them.
As Chodron factors out:
“They’re like messengers that present us, with terrifying readability, precisely the place we’re caught.
This very second is the proper instructor, and, fortunate for us, it’s with us wherever we’re.”
Life has a approach of constructing that quiet, uncomfortable feeling get louder and louder till we are able to’t assist however tackle it…
However we are able to save ourselves fairly a little bit of time if we acknowledge the concern, lean in sooner, and acknowledge life is attempting to show us one thing.
That’s my problem for you this week.
What if…
We requested, “Am I actually hungry, or am I simply soothing myself with meals?”
We acknowledged we have been scared or anxious or nervous after which requested (with compassionate curiosity) what was behind the sensation?
Life is attempting to show us classes day by day.
We simply must be brave sufficient to be uncomfortable to see it.
-Steve
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