Real Talk: The Death Of A Dream (Letting Go Of Perfect, Accepting The Good)

Final evening, I appeared again at the newest “closing flooring plan” that I might discover that confirmed the ultimate model of the ground plan of the addition I’ve been dreaming about for the final ten years. My concepts for the addition went by way of many modifications over time, however I’m fairly positive this was the final full flooring plan I shared.

For comparability, that is what our flooring plan seems to be like proper now. The little room to the again of our predominant lavatory that’s stable black is the unique grasp lavatory that’s utterly inaccessible proper now, however my new plan is to make that accessible once more as a substitute of tearing it down.

Initially of 2025, I made my list of home goals for that year, simply as I’ve executed for the final a number of years. On that 2025 record, I mentioned the next:

Y’all, I really feel like that is the 12 months that I’ll lastly be capable to say goodbye to the sunroom.

I’ve been eager to tear this room down for years, nevertheless it’s the place my washer and dryer hookups have been all these years, and it’s additionally the place our sizzling water heater is situated. However as soon as our closet/laundry room combo is completed, I’ll now not want this room for a laundry room. And as soon as my workshop is organized, I’ll now not have to retailer instruments and provides within the sunroom. That simply leaves the recent water heater. And I’d be completely ecstatic if I might…

1. Have a tankless water heater put in,
2. Have French doorways put in behind the music room (which we’d should do anyway, quickly, whereas the addition is being framed, so why not try this ahead of later?), after which
3. TEAR DOWN THE SUNROOM!!!!!

Y’all, I wish to make that occur so badly!!! I would like that room gone. I really feel just like the again of our home is actually beginning to form up now that the carport is completed and usable, the driveway is poured, and the workshop will quickly look very cute. However this sunroom is such an eyesore. Even when we are able to’t construct the addition this 12 months, I nonetheless need the sunroom gone. I’ve been anxious to tear that room down for thus lengthy now, and it will be such a momentous event if I might make that occur this 12 months.

Effectively, 2025 got here and went, and the sunroom was nonetheless there. When it got here time for me to make my 2026 list of home goals, you’ll discover that tearing down the sunroom was now not on my record. I had began to have a change of perspective, however right here’s what I mentioned about it:

I hate this room a lot, and consider me, I’d love nothing greater than to tear it down ASAP. However the reality of the matter is that we want an area for our exercise tools. So till we’re prepared to start out constructing our addition, the room wants to remain, and we have to use it as a short lived house gymnasium.

Momentary. That’s the important thing phrase. That’s the phrase I used to be hanging onto with clenched fists. I nonetheless wasn’t prepared to maintain the sunroom long run, however I might reside with it and make use of it quickly. I used to be planning absolutely the least expensive makeover humanly potential, just about sticking to eradicating the carpet and coating every little thing in a contemporary coat of paint. However ultimately, I nonetheless needed it gone.

After which, simply over a month in the past, my mindset developed a bit extra, and I wrote a post about how I needed to perform a little greater than the very fundamentals. I needed to go forward and substitute the drafty home windows and sliding door that gained’t utterly near make the room extra snug whereas we’re making non permanent use of the room.

However these new home windows and door can be ordered in the proper sizes in order that they might be eliminated after we tear down the sunroom after which they might be put in within the new addition. So even only a month in the past, I used to be holding on to that dream of the addition as tightly as I might.

Fifteen days after writing about new home windows and a brand new door for the sunroom, I posted about opening up that hidden lavatory to the sunroom in order that we might have a second full lavatory in the home, which might be accessible on this wall of the sunroom the place the white rectangle is.

After which eight days after that, I wrote about constructing a deck that might be accessible by way of the outside door in our lavatory. However that deck would sit proper in the way in which of that future addition.

I feel you may see the place that is going. And I’m positive a lot of you most likely obtained there a lot quicker than I did. You’ve seen the development of my ideas and plans, and I’m positive you had been pondering, “There’ll by no means be an addition if she does these items.”

And but, it’s solely been inside the previous few days that I’ve realized what I’ve doing over these previous few months. I’ve been slowly however certainly letting go of the dream of an addition, and with one new plan after one other, I’ve been slowly making an attempt to persuade myself that letting go of that dream is okay. Will probably be high-quality. However I feel I needed to let go of it slowly, progressively, over the course of some months. After which hastily.

And that’s the top that I’ve reached over the previous few days. I lastly reached the “sudden” finish of that sluggish, gradual, step-by-step letting go course of. I can see it now. There gained’t be a brand new addition. And whereas it truly pains me to put in writing these phrases as a result of it’s been a dream for over ten years now, I’ve truly had a few days to made peace with it.

Actually, I hit that backside of disappointment, and I’ve already began on my approach again as much as pleasure. I’m excited concerning the problem of turning that sunroom and that terrible lavatory into one thing usable, wonderful, and everlasting. However that signifies that we’re truly going to should put more cash into it than I had initially deliberate. It gained’t be something close to what a whole tear down and new, a lot bigger addition would price. However it’s going to price a heck of much more than tearing out carpet and coating every little thing with a brand new coat of paint.

The principle subject is that if that room goes to develop into a everlasting a part of our house, it needs to be stage with the remainder of the home, so the ground needs to be raised. And if the ground is raised, the roof needs to be raised additionally. And whereas I can’t envision myself doing both of these issues myself, that signifies that I’ll have to seek out different methods to maintain prices as little as potential. And meaning a great deal of DIY. I feel I’m up for it. I’m able to face the problem. And I’m truly fairly enthusiastic about it. I feel ultimately, it is going to be good. It gained’t be good, however I’m okay with that. I’d somewhat reside with the great than spend one other decade laying aside the great whereas persevering with to dream concerning the good.